Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Motherhood brings so much

No one tells you that when you become the mother of a child, you become the mother of every child. No one tells you that every child you see hurt, or sick, or pass away even the ones you don't know, a part of you hurts or feels sick or passes with them. I struggle sometimes to come to terms with the fact I can't save all of them. Things happen-accidents, illness, and bad things. I hold the memory this year of a little boy from Lincoln, NE. I'm not sure why. It could be that he was the same age as my son at the time. The story touched my heart so deeply that I have the story memorized. I feel I lost a part of my heart with his parents. How is that possible? How is it possible that I have this little boy, named Joshua, who lost his life in his family's backyard pool, in my soul? How is it I grieve like a parent for this little boy I met in a news article? I'm not sure, but I can guess it's because I became a mom.

So how do we deal with hearing about things that happen to the children of this world? The only thing I know to do is to hug my own children. I have to learn to take each day to heart and take each one of them to heart. I hold them dear to my heart and I hold them tight in my arms. I pray each day for their safety. I pray for the safety of each child in this world. I wish I could hold all them tight and protect each and every one.

It's a tough topic. I don't mean to bring everyone down. I think many of us feel it but we don't say it. We don't talk about it because it brings us down. I think there is something else I'm supposed to be doing in this life. I think I'm supposed to be there for the children of this world somehow. I can't imagine that I would hold on to all these things unless I'm supposed to be doing something. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do or how I'm supposed to help at this point but I will find out.